DO NOT OPEN IF EASILY OFFENDED

edited March 21 in General
A friend shared this on Facebook. I laughed out loud and had tears in my eyes.
I've rotated the image so that it cannot be read accidentally.
It's directed at all the self centred people who are panic-buying and stripping our supermarket shelves.
YES.JPG
631 x 637 - 128K
«1

Comments

  • Member, Beta Tester
    My brother thinks when they panic buy toilet rolls they should use the till receipts instead
  • Member, Beta Tester
    You posted just what many of us are thinking. And saying. People are going into any bathroom they can find. At gas stations or restaurants that are open. And anyplace else they can find and taking not just the toilet paper. But the fixtures too. What is wrong with our society?
  • Member, Beta Tester
    Why suddenly do people need to poo more frequently than they normally do? It's called the Cononavirus not dysentery. :-&
    mother.JPG
    500 x 633 - 29K
  • Member, Beta Tester
    New Mothers Day card.
    mums day.JPG
    606 x 748 - 41K
  • Member, Beta Tester
    People would buy certain items weekly. So if they were not going out of the house for a long length of time. They figured they would need to stock up. My wife usually shops at one of those big box stores. Where you buy a lot of stuff. Before the virus hit she stocked up on toilet paper. Which for some reason we go through a lot of. Anyway we are fine. But I will run out of sodas. I am in a panic!
  • Member, Beta Tester
    It's bad for you anyway, Mike!
  • Member, Beta Tester
    I know.
    Here is a good one. Years ago when we first moved into this place my wife had me take the two doors to the master bedroom off. She said she didn't want to be shut in. I stored them in the garage. When she started all this remodel crap a few months ago. We got rid of them. She said we would never need them. Twenty years I had saved them. Today she came in and asked if I still had the doors. Now she watched her new cabinets in the garage go in. And there was no place to keep them. Anyway. She wanted them in case we have to shelter in place because of this virus. So it looks like Mike will have to make two new doors. Which I can no longer do. Brilliant!
  • Member, Beta Tester
    Is she denying she told you to get rid of them?
  • Member
    Mike, are you a carpenter - making doors and the like? To be sincere, it is a female thing - with the doors, I also forced my spouse to take them off. Your wife could sew some thick patchwork curtains instead of the doors?

    Richard, you are simply too sober and rational to understand the stuff with the toiletpaper :) . The people are frustrated and they cannot go outside. Beating another family members are illegal and the neighbors hear it, too - so the police could come. The last option to resolve frustration is EATING. Which means more pooping. Which means more toiletpaper.

    This is much more insteresting: it is time to fast (before Eastern) for the Christians - yet all of the stores are almost empty: no meat, no beer, no spirits. Either is Bavaria much less Christian than the politics think or Maslow was simply right with his hierarchy of needs.

    And hopefully this picture works now: https://www.dw.com/image/52851422_303.jpg
  • Member, Beta Tester
    You threw the doors out Mike?!? You could have made them into a coffin and told her it was her own personal custom-built virus escape module. Having no bedroom doors is kinky. Alexa's suggestion of a curtain is appropriate. It could soon be curtains for many of us. :-j Why is there a run on toilet paper? (he said ambiguously). We could do some appropriate recycling. I nominate The Washington Post, The Times and Die Zeit as suitable substitutes. Some would say that they are always full of it anyway ..... but not me ..... nice Scottish person. :)
    I LOVE your picture Alexa =))
  • Member, Beta Tester
    How about this for a piece of governMENTAL thinking?
    Ministers are suggesting that 2,305 "low risk" prisoners with under three months left of their sentences be released from UK prisons to aid the government’s efforts to combat the coronavirus outbreak.
    Whilst I can appreciate the reasoning behind this suggestion, where would it leave the courts when attempting to sentence offenders? "You've been a very naughty boy. Don't do it again".
  • Member
    We subscribe Die Zeit since aeons, Richard :) . It is rather left-social and green - last week they plead that people shall keep chicken at home to secure the minimal supply unit from human and nonhuman animals. It was a really long, funny and affectionate column - I loved it.
  • edited March 22 Member, Beta Tester
    Sounds amusing Alexa. :)
    Time we had some "gallows humour" in this thread. I give you The Corries singing MacPhearsons Rant. (Fiddle is the Scottish word for a violin).
  • edited March 22 Member, Beta Tester
    Farewell ye dungeons dark and strong,
    Farewell, farewell tae thee,
    MacPhersons time will no be lang,
    On yonder gallow's tree
    It was by a woman's treachorous hands,
    That I was condemned to dee,
    She stood uben a windae ledge,
    And a blanket threw o'er me
    Sae rantingly, sae wantonly,
    Ans sae dauntingly gaed he,
    He played a tune and he danced around
    Below the gallow's tree
    (Chorus)
    Oh what is death, but parting breath
    On mony a bloody plain
    I've daur'd his face, and in his place
    I scorn him yet again
    Sae rantingly, sae wantonly,
    Ans sae dauntingly gaed he,
    He played a tune and he danced around
    Below the gallow's tree
    (Chorus)
    I have lived a life, o' straught and strife
    I die by treachery
    It burns my heart, that I must depart
    An no avenged be
    Sae rantingly, sae wantonly,
    Ans sae dauntingly gaed he,
    He played a tune and he danced around
    Below the gallow's tree
    (Chorus)
    So tak these bands fae aff my hands
    Gae to me my sword
    There's nae a man in a' Scotland
    But I'll brave him at a word
    Sae rantingly, sae wantonly,
    Ans sae dauntingly gaed he,
    He played a tune and he danced around
    Below the gallow's tree
    (Chorus)
    Now farewell light thou sunshine bright
    And all beneath the sky
    May coward shame distain his name
    The wretch that dare not die
    Sae rantingly, sae wantonly,
    Ans sae dauntingly gaed he,
    He played a tune and he danced around
    Below the gallow's tree
  • Member, Beta Tester
    Received by email
    Back.JPG
    476 x 593 - 47K
  • edited March 22 Member, Beta Tester
    I am not the best carpenter. I did hang some new doors when we remodeled 20 years ago. I hated making scenery. I would measure twice. Cut the lumber. And still be wrong.
    And now is not a good time to be talking caskets. But more crazy ideas. And who knows. I actually thought I kept the doors. I though my son and I put them in the small attic we have. Of course that is full of Christmas stuff. As well as the ten foot by sixteen storage room.
    I have not been informed yet of the new patio slab being torn out. And a correct one be poured. And I have not been informed about much else. Except that all of my books and things in this room will have to disappear if it turns into a shelter. Where it will all go? I have no idea. The garage is full of new patio furniture. That was suppose to go on the new patio. This is never going to end.
    And thanks for the lyrics.
  • edited March 23 Member, Beta Tester
    It's nice that you're keeping busy Mike. :)
    An American guy completely off his trolley and some medical advice he should have had.
    checkout.JPG
    452 x 508 - 56K
    gross.JPG
    474 x 512 - 47K
  • Member, Beta Tester
    News just in from Japan.
    olympics.JPG
    452 x 346 - 27K
  • Member, Beta Tester
    LOL!
  • Member, Beta Tester
    I have worked out the reason the government want us to stand at least 2 metres apart. They are preparing the way for a longer distance for when you cannot get toilet rolls or deodorant it will be necessary to stand 50 metres apart
  • Member
    Richard, thank you for the song and for the funny pictures :) .
    Mike, my spouse is also a (not so good) carpenter - and he hates to remodel doors and staircases, too. To be sincere, books are much more important than christmas stuff - if the apocalypse comes then no one cares about christmas, but books help to stay sober and avoid cabin fever. Some radical ideas to survive: 1. growing button mushroom in the cellar, 2. building a two times-circulating cistern, 3. hoarding textil diapers (good stuff in the toilet, in the kitchen and for sanitation), 4. learning to make your own soap, toothpaste and deodorant, 5. giving a name to your sourdough starter and 6. make sure that there is at least one door at home which divides you from the others if needed without locking yourself outside (so entrance door + 1 other door). ;)
  • edited March 23 Member, Beta Tester
    I'm glad to say that we have been able to get groceries with little problem. They had the good sense to send substitutes for things they'd run out of.
    My "to do" list. 1/. Excavate a basement to grow mushrooms in. 2/. Knock a hole in the back wall to install a second door. Thanks for that Alexa. :( ;))
    Oh sheet.JPG
    474 x 590 - 65K
    roll of onour.JPG
    474 x 484 - 39K
  • Member, Beta Tester
    I need a haircut but obviously we need to be 2 metres apart. Are there 2 metre long scissors?
  • Member, Beta Tester
    Order Braun hair clippers Paul. Mine have about a dozen length settings. Everybody will be in the same boat. Easy to use and easy to make a tidy job of it. A baseball cap just finishes it off nicely. :)
  • Member, Beta Tester
    BRAvo.
    BRAiny.JPG
    461 x 282 - 26K
  • Member
    Richard, you have a great sense of humor! Thank you again :)
  • Member, Beta Tester
    Don't encourage him.
  • Member, Beta Tester
    What Mike said...
  • Member, Beta Tester
    In truth. If we didn't have Richard and his sometimes :) witty remarks. We would be doing something important. Like washing our hands every ten minutes. Or volunteering to wave at a elderly person. Which is what I do in the mirror twice a day.
  • Member, Beta Tester
    What WE'D like to know Mike is what you and your hands have been up to to merit so much hand washing. You're not a dirty old man are you? >:)
Sign In or Register to comment.